Revelations
by Disappearing Boy
Summary: Mr. Weasley has to give Harry “the talk”. When you discuss sex, you might find out things that you never wanted to know about. HPGW. Oneshot.


**Author's Note**: Harry is out of character in this story. If you don't like that, then don't read it.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Harry Potter.

Arthur Weasley sighed in frustration. It was the summer, and the trio was staying over at the Burrow for a few days for Bill and Fleur's wedding. Molly, in her infinite wisdom, had come up with the idea that Harry needed to be told about the birds and the bees, since he had obviously never had a talk like that. And of course, the job had fallen to Arthur. He couldn't refuse, of course, since he knew that Harry needed to know about these things. Still, it was hard enough talking to his own sons. This would be especially difficult.

He found Harry in the kitchen talking to Ginny. He cleared his throat. "Harry, could you come upstairs with me?"

"Uh, yeah sure." Harry looked at Ginny and shrugged. He got up and followed Mr. Weasley to the guest room. Mr. Weasley sat on the bed and thought for a second.

"Harry." He took a deep breath. "There's something I need to talk to you about."

"What, Mr. Weasley?"

"Sex."

There was a pause.

"Listen, I know this may be uncomfortable, but there's some things you have to know at your age…"

Harry spoke up. "Don't worry about it, Mr. Weasley. I know everything you're going to tell me…in a nutshell, sex is for people who love each other very much, blah blah blah, and use protection to prevent pregnancy and STDs, right?"

Arthur was stunned. "Well, yeah."

"Believe it or not Mr. Weasley, I've had sex before."

Arthur's eyes bugged out. "You have?"

"Sure," Harry stated nonchalantly. "Many times."

"With one girl?"

"A few."

"Really?" Mr. Weasley's jaw dropped. "Who?"

"Well, my first was Hermione…"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," he interrupted. "I don't believe this. You mean to say that you've banged your best friend? The same Hermione staying in this house?"

"Yes," Harry answered coolly. "The same."

Arthur stared.

"Oh come on," Harry said after a few minutes. "Don't be like that, Mr. Weasley. It was a one-night fling, that's all. A couple years ago, we all went to Hogsmeade together to get a few butterbeers. However, the bartender was kind enough to let us try a few glasses of firewhiskey as well. Well, one shot leads to another, and the next thing I know, me, Hermione and Ron are in the same room, fucking each other senseless…"

"Wait a second!" Arthur shouted. "Ron was there, too!"

"Yeah dude. We all got drunk together. Stands to reason, since we ARE best friends, that we couldn't just leave him all alone with his right hand while we fucked, could we? That would have been mean. Anyways, it's not like me and Ron are gay. It was more like us screwing Hermione simultaneously. Everyone had a great time. We're comfortable with each other so it didn't ruin our friendship or anything. I don't know why you're making a big deal out of it."

Arthur slumped down on the bed, breathing heavily. "Well…I guess kids will be kids, although…" he paused. "I just never thought of you guys like that. I guess I'm just being sort of paranoid. Sorry for yelling at you, Harry."

Harry grinned. "Nah, forget about it. No harm done. You're one of the least lame adults I know. Anyone else, like, um…your wife…well, I couldn't tell her this."

"No you couldn't." Arthur took a long drink from his cup of water.

Harry went on. "Oh, I guess since we're on the topic, I guess I should let you know that I've been sleeping with Ginny."

Arthur choked on the water he was drinking. Harry clapped his back a few times. When he finally stopped coughing, his face was beet red.

"Yo, you ok, Mr. Weasley? I'm sorry about that, I should've waited until you finished your drink…"

"YOU'VE FUCKED MY DAUGHTER!"

"Whoa, calm down, man. And the answer is, yes, I have."

Arthur glared at Harry with murderous rage, steam coming out of his ears.

"Oh, come on," Harry said loudly. "Don't give me that look again. What can I say…she's a real good fuck, if that's any consolation to you," he added. "Plus, I've been using protection with her. A special kind. I think you might be interested in this." He pulled out a rubber from his pocket and handed it to him.

"What's is it?" Arthur asked, his anger calming down a little.

"That's called a condom. It's a muggle thing." Mr. Weasley's face brightened up immediately. Harry laughed. "I knew you'd like it."

"How does this thing work?"

"Well," Harry took it out of the package. "First you have to get erect. Then, you slip this on your pecker." He simulated by putting the condom on his index finger. "And, you're protected. Ain't no sperm getting through this thing." He took it off and gave it back to Arthur. "Here, you can have this one, I got some spares." He smiled. "And I trust that you will be experimenting with it soon?" he asked with a smirk.

Arthur smiled at him in gratitude. "I'll try it on tonight. Thanks, Harry."

"No problem. See you later, Mr. Weasley." He winked as he walked out of the room.

A few seconds later, Molly walked in. "How did it go, Arthur?"

* * *

Harry found Ginny outside, sitting on the lawn. He walked over and knelt beside her. "Hey, beautiful," he whispered.

Ginny smiled and stroked his cheek. "Hey, handsome. How'd it go with my dad? Mom told me he was giving you 'the talk'. He didn't give you a hard time, did he?"

Harry grinned. "No, he actually didn't. But you are."

Ginny looked down at the bulge in his pants and giggled. "I can see that." She continued, "So, what did he say?"

"Oh, nothing much. I told him I was already experienced and all, and he understood. You're dad's pretty cool, for an old guy."

She laughed. "So, did you tell him about…us?"

"Yeah. I felt I owed it to him, Gin. You don't mind, do you?"

"No. He needed to know. But what did he say when you told him?"

"Well, he got a little upset at first, but then I explained that we always use protection, and he was fine with it."

She shook her head at him. "Always so responsible. Don't you ever get tired of that?"

"Nope, it's who I am. You wouldn't have it any other way."

"No, I wouldn't. I love you for the way you are."

"I know."

They were quiet for a while, just looking up at the stars and thinking.

Harry finally broke the silence. "Hey Gin, I was wondering…how many guys have you slept with?"

"Oh…" She thought for a few minutes. "Seven, including you."

"Seven?" Harry repeated incredulously. "Damn, you get around. Who were the other six?"

"Well, I've slept with everyone in your dorm room, except for Ron, of course."

"Wait, does that mean you've fucked Neville?" Harry asked, shocked.

Ginny giggled. "Yeah, once. It was a while ago. It was more out of pity than anything. He's really sweet, that kid…"

Harry snorted.

"So how many for you, stud?" she asked him.

"You're my fourth."

"Who are the others?"

"Parvati Patil, Lavender Brown, and Hermione."

"Hermione?"

"Yes. Why is everyone so surprised by that? We were drunk, that's all. It meant nothing."

"Yeah." Ginny stared into space dreamily. "Hermione is pretty good. You'd never think it to look at her, you know, cause she's kind of a nerd, but in bed…"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Harry interrupted. "How do you know this? You're not…"

"Yes, Harry," she sighed. "I've slept with girls, too."

He stared at her with his mouth hanging open.

"What?" she asked.

"Damn, I would have never…Jeez, don't drop bombshells like that, Gin!"

"Alright, calm down Harry. You only asked me about the guys I've slept with, not the girls…"

"How many?" he asked.

"A few."

"Shit, you sure get around, don't you?"

"I guess you could say that," she said with a shrug. "Hey, all this talk is making me kinda horny."

"I know, same here," he replied. "I can't get the image of you and Hermione snogging out of my head."

She moved to straddle his lap, and he shuddered. "Ooh, you're so hard. Wanna do something about it?" She grinned seductively at him.

Harry pulled out a condom from his pocket. "You know it."

**The End**


End file.
